people are mirrors

Another discussion, another chance to acquire some self realization, which maybe I’m not too keen on focusing on, but what am I here for if not to grow through unpleasantness? 😛

I mentioned recently to some friends that I had gone through a period of time when I could hardly bear to be in the presence of people. Sometimes the irritation was so bad it felt  like nails on a chalk board in the back of my head. “Maybe you’re allergic to yourself, and when you’re with other people the mirroring they are doing is too much for you.” Was the response…not an exact quote, but you get the jest of it.

So…one way of looking at our encounters with others is we are all mirroring each other, and the people who frustrate, irritate or piss us off are showing us the things we are in need of working on ourselves…ugh, how fun is that?!

Shakti Gawain says: You have to remember to recognize that this person is there as your mirror or your teacher. You’ve brought them into your life to show you a part of yourself that you need to develop, so that you can be more balanced. The people that are the most annoying and difficult to deal with can actually be mirrors to show us the exact piece of our Disowned side that we need to bring into our lives.

If that’s the case I was in dire need of inner work!  Which, guess what? I was!! I had had quite a few stressful challenges in a row, which led me to some negative thinking.

I wish I come across this advice from Louise L. Hay earlier  –

‎”Love yourself as much as you can and all of life will mirror this love back to you.”

Instead, after having felt the necessity to be strong for an extended period of time, I started thinking it would be a nice change to be weak, to be taken care of…

Well, watch what you wish for! I did start to feel weak and out of control, but not willing to give up control; any control!  When anyone tried to make my life easier by helping me, I became irritable and wanted to be alone.  Talk about confusing!  I don’t know what exactly was happening; I guess I was split between two desires, to be weak and to have control. I was probably seeing both these qualities in the people I was spending time with and was trying to omit both in my life…no wonder I was mixed up. Maybe the quote I found the other day by Ludwig Wittgenstein helps to explain it –

“What is troubling us is the tendency to believe that the mind is like a little man within.”

It seems to me I had/have more than one little wo-man in my mind, and they battle quite regularly over who has power, what decisions are best for me and get irritated and annoyed with all the people I meet that are their mirrors.   I’m pretty sure I’m not alone in this predicament…the question I have is how to get them to work together for the greater good?

More advice from Shakti Gawain-

It works much better to concentrate on what we need to learn in the situation. Once we use the mirror to understand what we need, and actually do the work to develop a disowned self, the whole pattern of the relationship will shift.

Which brings me back to the Louise L. Hay quote,

‎”Love yourself as much as you can and all of life will mirror this love back to you.”

because if you are willing to develop an aspect of yourself you have disowned, I’m guessing you’d be best off loving it too! If that also brings balance that would make me think that the ‘little wo-men in my mind’ are willing to work together, compromise if you will.

I imagine another way would be to try focus on and help others...

There are two ways to spread happiness; either be the light who shines it or be the mirror who reflects it.

Edith Wharton

Awareness is a wonderful thing…thank goodness for all people in my life who help bring to my attention the lessons that will further my inner journey.


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